The plot thickens

Ya know what I'm sure something terrible is going on with my melons, they just look so pathetic and the leaves have all gone yellow, I'm gutted I was so proud of them, the fruits look fine and there are four nice ones between 3 plants in one growbag, I've been watering them everyday and I fed them yesterday, it's doing my head in, I was even blaming the fact that I have them right next to my aubergines {3 plants one growbag}, because the aubergine to me is a dinosaur of a plant even the flower has thorns, and I'm sure it gets bigger everytime it catches my skin and makes me bleed, I thought maybe it was poisoning my melon, It's weird really thinking about it because a couple of times in the greenhouse I've gone to shoo a fly off a leaf of the melon or aubergine and the fly has been dead, just sat there all dead now that's weird innit lol.
Anyway I've kinda lost my enthusiasm for cucumber I remember picking my first one being made up that I grew it but now the feeling's getting a little old in fact I find myself leaving them on the plant just to see how big they'll get lol I have 3 in the fridge 2 on the plant and have harvested about 8 others, that's just from 3 plants!!!! every home should have one cucumber plant it would keep a family in cucumber for the whole summer, It's weird really isn't it, I'm 37 years old and only just discovering gardening, Like millions of other people out there I didn't know that you can grow 3 tomatoes plants in a growbag against a wall in a little yard and you will have enough tomatoes for the summer and if you have a whole row of grow bags even in a little back yard you can grow enough tomatoes to make enough tomato soup to freeze to last you all through the winter, A black plastic rubbish bin that not a lot of people use anymore for rubbish since the advent of the wheeliebin anyways fill it full of soil and a couple of seed potatoes and you can have new potatoes when they're at there most expensive in the shops and everything tastes so much better when it's home grown.
I know I'm probably preaching to the converted as this is an allotment site, but I guess you've all been there, I've had my allotment since march so I'm a complete novice but the thing with gardening is trowel and error that's been my philosophy anyway lol, I've tried yes I've made mistakes but I've learnt so much more, I transplanted 104 cauliflowers and harvested 2 but there ya go lol in my defence we rushed to put them in the ground and as soon as the rains came the bed was completely waterlogged, everything we have I've grown from seed from my poorly sick melons, carnivourous aubergines right down to the pumpkins and butternut squash. I've even planted a flowerbed and loads of pots and baskets, in fact one of my sunflowers has been opening for the past 2 days lol I have sweet peas growing up them with poppies, cosmos, pansies, impatiens and stock filling the bed underneath, I can't believe how high poppies can grow I swear they are giving my sunflowers a run for their money lol and the sweet peas are amazing me with their beautiful delicate flowers, most of the seeds for the flowers I've grown have been free ones from the amateur gardener magazine, I've found that to be a wonderful magazine with free seeds in each weekly copy and usually they can be planted that week {great for a novice with no idea of planting seasons, but I'll know next year} Anyway next year I'm debating on having a real bed for cut flowers, I've even learnt the names of some and their latin terms how weird is that, there are two things that freak me out as a gardener though and they are slugs and weeds, Slugs now come on I'm pro-life and all that but what are these creatures, what is their purpose and how many do there need to be, I'm not being funny but if I had a pound for every slug that I see I'd be a millionaire and the scary thing about that statement is that I'm not joking, I've seen everything from the little tiny snot looking ones to the huge gigantic turds that kinda bury themselves against the wood of the raised beds so as you're weeding you feel them squelch between your fingers, okay maybe that just happens to me lol, I dread the day when I see one of those ghost slugs, OH! Please, don't get me started on the ghost slug thing, I'm sure things are evolving just to put me off lol. Anyway weeds, I have a one woman war going on between me and the mare's tail, the sad thing is the mare's tail wins hands down. I'm rambling aren't I, lol
that was fun lol